Prof. Odysseus Malodorus was (or still is) the CEO of Team Malodorus, LLC. He received his BS from the University of Excrescence, with a major in Stench Studies. He was granted a Master of Science at the University of St. Succubus in the Study of Putrification with a master’s thesis on “The Half-Life of Fetid Armpits among Brazilian Soccer Players in the World Cup in 1974.” He received his PhD in Gastro-Enterological Studies from the College of Liberal Secretions with a dissertation entitled, “Cesspools, Compost, and Me: How I turned a Swamp of Fecal Matter into One of America’s Favorite Vacation Spots and Snack Meats.”
He is the author of the articles, “Ten Ways To Dress Up Your Lower GI Tract,” “How to Be a Good Host to Many Friendly Parasites,” and of course, his Pulitzer Prize-winning article from The American Journal of Bodily Discharges entitled, “How to Keep Toe Jam And Earwax out of the Hands of Angry Terrorists Who May Use It for Plastique Explosives.” But of course, he is probably best known for being the author of The New York Times best-seller, 101 Ways to Make Flatulence Work for You.
He was a member of the National Phlegm-Lovers Society, and his athletic supporter was a third place winner in the Jock Itch of the Year Competition. In addition, he has received a Fellowship from the Mucous Society of America and, of course, for seven years in a row, he received the Golden Sphincter for having the most active rectum in America.
Here now is what little is known about his origins and personal life. After being abandoned as a newborn infant and left in a MacDonald’s Quarter Pounder Styrofoam container in the backwoods outside Texarkana, Ody (as his friends called him) was raised by a rogue gang of feral pencil-neck geeks who ran a freak show. Among the freaks who raised and educated him, he most loved an African-American blues singer with flippers for hands named Blind Mad Dog Kropotkin who is best known for his stirring rendition of “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”
To pay for his massive education, he rented out his body to science. In fact, for many years, science used the power of his excessive flatulence to light up the Las Vegas Strip. In his spare time, it is rumored he enjoyed crocheting hats out of old Diet Pepsi cans.
Most of his adult life has been spent traveling all across the globe as he did his painstaking, extensive research for all the books of Tales of The Truly Grotesque. His tireless travels may also have been the result of the fact that the law is after him in several states for numerous unfortunate infractions he committed in the late 1970s.
Many claim he is still alive. If this is so, odds are he is still out and about doing further research. While he travels, because he is very cheap, there is a good chance he will stay at the homes of each and every one of his dear readers around the world.
For those who are eager to reach him, there is no guarantee that he will respond, since he may be dead. In addition, it is ineffective to contact him at his post office box in Hedsuk, Arkansas, due to the unfortunate fact that the building in which it was housed has since mutated into a Humungo shrimp. For now, the only possible way to potentially contact Prof. Malodorus is through email and the website of Team Malodorus, LLC. whose Internet address is www.TRULYGROTESQUE.com.
Stay malodorous and truly grotesque!